Relationships
Relationships are new and exciting when you are a teenager. Some last for a short time, some for a long time and other people don’t have relationships in their teenage years but wait until they are older. There is no right or wrong but it is important to make sure that if you have a relationship it is a healthy relationship.
Below are so me pointers to healthy relationships and some warning signs for unhealthy relationships. Read them through and decide if you are in the right relationship for you
Healthy Relationships
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Mutual respect: you like each other as you are and are not trying to change the other person
- Trust: you can trust your partner to stay faithful to you and you can both spend time with other friends/other interests without the other person being very jealous
- Honesty: you tell the truth to each other
- Support: they are there for you in the good times and the bad times
- Fairness/ equality: you both get the chance to choose what you do when you are together
- Good communication: you can talk openly and honestly about your relationship
Unhealthy Relationships
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Unkindness: your partner criticizes you a lot, gets angry at you and upsets you
- Jealousy: they stop you keeping in contact with friends and don’t want you to have other interests
- Disrespectful: they do not take into account your thoughts and feelings
- Controlling: they want to make all the decisions in the relationship and want you to do everything they suggest
- Abusive: this can be verbal, emotional, physical or sexual abuse and includes making you do things you don’t want to do...read more about abuse here.
Other relationships which may be unhealthy:
If the other person is a lot older or a lot younger than you then this might not be healthy and could be abusive.
If the other person is someone in authority over you, like a school teacher, youth worker etc. then they should not be entering into a relationship with you.
Be extremely careful about people you have met over the internet, you do not know who they really are and you should NEVER meet them alone. Look at www.thinkuknow.co.uk to make sure you are staying safe online.
Sexual relationships
Teenage relationships do not have to include sex and you can still have a good time and physical contact without including sex. You should never agree to sex if you are not happy about it BUT if you are thinking a sexual relationship with someone then read our ‘safe sex’ page first. (link)
If you think your relationship has problems.....
No relationship is perfect all the time and everyone makes some mistakes BUT if you are getting hurt in any way you need to consider whether the relationship is right for you. If the relationship is abusive you need to get out FAST.
Some young people find relationships difficult and need professional help (such as counselling) to learn how to build a good healthy relationship. If you want some help then please ask.
If your partner needs some help then ask them to go to a professional – often there problems come from their childhood and it is unlikely they will be able to change by themselves or just with your help.
Sources of help:
- TADIC
- GP
- School counsellors
- Eastleigh Youth counselling
- Youth Workers
- www.relate.org.uk